Let me be straight, I typically put maybe 10 percent effort into my dating life. In general,  I’ve come to terms with not feeling ready to date or rather just wanting more relationships with people on a platonic level.


I’m not sure what to think and that’s not really helping in the mental health department. (However, I do feel pretty solid at the moment, so don’t be alarmed yet, mom and dad.)

It’s hard not knowing the next time I get to be around people. At least when I was giving minimal effort, I knew that I had multiple chances, specially with spring and summer coming up (patio weather!).

Now, we are seeing reports that this could be on and off until there’s a vaccine and vaccines apparently take a year or two to figure out! That seems excessive to me, but I also haven’t taken a science class since 2012, so…

I felt and do feel like I’m in a positive place in life. I had even scheduled a hair appointment before I left my last one like a good hair person does. I, of course, had to reschedule it because the entire world broke, but it felt good and adult-like.

Most of my life is still in place (I still have to go to work) and I wasn’t very active during the week anyway, but I just have no idea how to combat this. The thought of not being able to be around people is a tough one I’ve been ignoring.

When it gets rough and I feel like I need to redownload tinder, I usually focus on sports games or going home to my family for the weekend and here we are with none of that.

I know we all don’t know, but I just don’t know.




Processed with VSCO with dog1 preset


2 Replies to “Usually alone, but now lonely.”

  1. I feel this. For the most part, my day to day hasn’t changed either. I’m still working (just now I’m home) and I still spend my free time trying to write or surfing the web or bingeing Netflix/Crunchyroll. The biggest difference is that now I don’t have the choice to get out if I want to. And having a bit of a rebellious streak (not pushing buttons that say “do not push” is extremely difficult for me) I am ITCHING to get out even though normally I wouldn’t be bothered. It’s been an emotional roller coaster of a month and I genuinely hope we can get through this sooner rather than later. The biggest comfort in all of this is knowing that I’m not alone, that we /are/ all going through it together. <3

    1. Crazy to think we are living history right now, but yeah, maybe that’s where the peace comes from—knowing that for once we are all on the same page. ❤️

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